From failure to winner!

Welp...I just don't know how to say this but I failed.

Perhaps I started off too aggressive? Maybe it was the lack of support from my friends? Maybe it was just because I wasn't ready? In any case, I didn't even make it three weeks into my workout schedule. Life got in the way and eventually the need to sleep won out.

I admit it. I failed myself. I gave up. I didn't have the will power or the strength to continue. My brain was fucked into believing that I wasn't meant to exercise. All of the excuses I could think of I used to talk myself out of waking up and working out.

"Wake up Puella!" I finally screamed at myself. I was going on a cruise. 8 days and 7 nights sailing away to the Bahamas on the Fun Ship Carnival Freedom. We'd been planning it for two years. I couldn't wait. About a month before we had to go I realized that I didn't have a single outfit that I could wear in the Bahamas without sweating my ass off. I only wear pants and tee shirts here in the temperate NC so I had to go shopping.

I always told myself that once I was too fat to buy clothes at Walmart I would do something about it. Well, that time had come and gone without my noticing! Walmart has apparently stopped stocking clothing in my town that is over size 18. The clothes I wear now are 18 so I tried on practically everything and it was all too small for my enormous frame.

I was mortified because I was shopping with a friend who is much smaller than me and can find clothes easily. I was close to tears because I couldn't find any clothes to fit me. Eventually I settled on a couple pairs of shorts from the fatty section at Goodwill and some XXL shirts from Walmart. Now the cruise has a formal night that you can dress up and be pretty for a night. I do own one very formal, very pretty dress that I have worn only once before. I thought I would bring that on the cruise. I tried it on and immediately burst into tears when I couldn't get the clasps closed in the back.

I vowed that once I got back from the cruise I would start again. I knew I couldn't do it alone. I knew that I needed the support of my family and my friends. I found my inspiration in an old friend that I haven't spoken to in years. Next month is the anniversary of my shipmate's death. He died when his helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan with 30 other special forces guys. Jon "JT" Tumilson, U.S. Navy SEAL changed my mind.

3minutesout.org

We served together for two years on board the USS Port Royal. A ship like ours, with a crew like ours we became fast friends. I could talk to him about nearly everything and he would listen. Whenever I came to him with a problem, he would always tell me that I was "just making excuses" and to "get off your ass and do something about it, go crush it."

So that's what I'm doing. I'm crushing my excuses and now I am ready. I have signed myself up for not one but TWO 5Ks in the next three months. One of them benefiting JT and his brothers at Joggin' for Frogmen at the end of this month and the other a local 5K that I have managed to talk some of my friends into training with me.

If you have a moment, please consider donating to my fundraiser site for JT for the first 5K. It is appreciated and you are helping the families of these fallen heroes. Click HERE to donate or copy this address into your browser www.active.com/donate/jogginforfrogmen5k/gocrush-it