Shame is Not Motivation

I came across a post on my timeline for Facebook yesterday that got my blood pressure to top out more than a good workout!

There is a man who is secretly filming the overweight and elderly residents of my gentle little town and making mean and hurtful comments on the videos about them. You do not see his face, you just hear his hateful troll of a voice the entire time. Instead of talking to these people, he hides behind trees and bushes and as he films he berates these poor people behind their backs and hides behind his camera. While there are plenty of moral and medical reasons as to why this would inappropriate to the large people of my town there is also the fact that he isn't doing anything to help them about their weight or motivating them to do anything about it either.

Motivation does not come from shame. Ever.

As an FBG, and a resident of the county he is secretly filming I am so frustrated that he is walking my streets. He mentions in one of his videos that he does a Navy SEAL workout. I highly doubt this. Most likely he found something online that incorporates the same exercises we can all do and it was labeled a SEAL workout. As a Navy Sailor myself this infuriated me.

I posted a comment to his youtube videos which received no response from him. I also sent him a message on Facebook (listed below, in full force so excuse the language used) which has received no response as well.

This man is attempting to open a fitness center in my humble little town. I implore my readers to flag his videos and ask that they be taken down. I also ask that you never, ever, visit any of his listed websites. Normally I would NEVER bring attention to something like this so as not to garner him more satisfaction. Unfortunately, it affects the people of my town, my friends, and my family. I cannot allow this to continue and I ask that you, my readers please help me get his videos taken down. Sign in to youtube and go here to get the list of his videos. Feel free to leave a comment on his videos too. The ones labeled "Obesity Reigns in Macon County 1" all the way through 6 need to be flagged.

"As a former US Navy Sailor, you sir are a cunt. I'm a fat girl of Macon County and I've been working my ass off to lose my weight. In doing so I've motivated several others to join me. THAT is how you get others to join you, to be healthy, to run. What you have done is wrong and bordering on pedophilia. What makes you so fucking special? Sounds to me like you are a fat guy yourself. Perhaps you should join ME on my two a day workouts and see how you feel. You are scum. Take your sick videos down, stop filming people, and motivate people in other ways. I could bring my actual Navy SEAL buddies to one of your workouts if you wish and we can see if you can hang with them? Except they wouldn't ridicule you, make fun of you, film you at your most vulnerable, for not being able to finish their daily routine. Be a man."

UPDATE: I did receive a response to the youtube post.

"I just wanted to let you know that I am shooting these videos as ABC news has expressed interest in doing a story on OBESITY here. I am formerly of CBS news. We are only using the numbers shared with your OWN health department they showed us that speaks the FACTS."

UPDATE #2 (My response):

"While they may be the FACTS as you so state. The way you have gone about belittling this town, this community, is ridiculous! I have seen more tasteful stories done on obesity from the news before, what you are doing is just flat wrong. Your statements on these videos are derived from a place of hate instead of compassion. I could care less your affiliations within the news community. You're a pompous ass that thinks he is better than everyone else. I have three kids, workout twice a day, go to school full time, and work full time. I don't run on the greenway because my job has it's own gym in the building. I'm still a fat girl and my excuses are my own and none of your business. Motivation can never come from shame!"

Update #3:

Congratulations! He took down his videos from youtube. Great job guys. Great job.

Joggin' for Frogmen 5K

My Bib for the Virtual 5K

Sunday was the Joggin' for Frogmen 5K race. I was representing the great state of North Carolina and Crushin' it for JT.

As a virtual racer the point was to get out and run the 5K whenever you could on that day. Unfortunately, I have injured my knee so I was unable to do the actual running part. (Not that I was looking forward to running a 5K so soon after getting off my ass starting to run).

Due to my injury (too much, too soon) I have to do low impact walking or some other type of easy cardio to keep the pressure off my knee. (We will talk about knees and how to take care of them in another post.)

FBG and The Punisher

I did however, get up early and go workout with my Punisher and used the Elliptical for 30 minutes. Using the Elliptical tends to make me sweat more than if I were to actually run which sometimes makes me feel like I am doing more work but I found that I burn just about the same amount of calories using the machine as I would running.

Thank you to everyone who donated to the cause. Your support will help families of the fallen US Navy SEALs and other Veterans nationwide.

The Before...

You know those before and after pictures you see every where for every thing from weight loss to acne medication? I have come to despise them. It depicts people in the worst times of their lives and, as someone who was picked on all throughout her school age years, I can only imagine the names these poor people were called. They hate themselves and what they look like because someone shitty CEO of some shitty company told them that they aren't pretty enough or skinny enough. And WE believe them.

Of course we do! We want to believe them, we want to be someone totally different from who we are! They promised that if we use their products (not approved by the FDA) we will magically lose weight overnight and finally be skinny enough (results not typical)! Who wouldn't want that?

Well, I've tried nearly everything out there and nothing, literally not a single one of them, has worked. I followed all of the directions to a Tee and would maybe lose a couple pounds here and there. Alas, nothing made me lose weight overnight and I sure as hell didn't make me any prettier.

Don't get me wrong. I am totally comfortable with the person that I am. I am smart, I love animals and my friends and family, I love to tease people and be teased in return, I have a smart mouth that goes along with my quick sense of humor. I have a belief system that has nothing to do with a god and I trust in myself. That doesn't mean I have to like the way I look. Which I don't obviously. So I did it right. I went and talked to my doctor who told me what I need to do. Funny how I already knew what he was going to say.

"FBG you need to stop all of these fad diets, you're making it worse. Just eat right! No more fast food, period. No more soda, quit smoking, eat more salad and less bread, eat less red meat and more greens. Then after you do that, I want you to start exercising. Everyday."

"Everyday?!?"

"Yes. Every. Single. Day. And for the rest of your life," he told me. I was not happy with this decision but I am slowly making these changes.

So if I have to do this for the rest of my life I figured I'd better get started and I did. At least I have The Punisher helping me with the exercise every single day. I haven't had fast food and I quit smoking on June 25th of this year, my birthday. Here is my BEFORE picture taken just last night. I have lost two pounds from my heaviest weight of 242 pounds. The day of the 5K I will post the BEFORE and AFTER picture.

Let's Talk About Running.

Okay. Here's the thing. I am NOT a runner, never have been. I actually despise anything that makes me breathe hard and my muscles ache. Even SEX gets on my nerves sometimes (that's a lie.) Hence, not a runner.

Saturday was my first run since my 2001 Navy Physical Readiness Test, not including the fiasco I did a couple months ago. I was positive that I could at least run 1.5 miles with no problem. I mean I could do it 11 years ago without a problem, right?. (The PRT is a 1.5 mile run that had to be completed in 13 minutes and 30 seconds to pass, and just barely pass at that. Being the bare minimum kind of FBG, that was my time.)

So, after a LONG boring day at my 3x3 cubicle desk job it was time to meet up with my new 5K training buddies. I put on my spandex shorts (covered by another pair of loose shorts so as not to offend anyone,) a cool new running shirt (it doesn't absorb sweat so it prevents chafing,) and my brand spankin' new runnin' shoes (recommended by the skinny bitch at the shoe store.) I was ready to go. I felt great! I avoided mirrors at all costs, so of course I looked great too!

I arrived early to our designated meeting area, right near the McDonalds. (Thanks assholes. Who the hell meets near McDonalds before a run?) I stretched a little, looking like I probably knew what I was doing, and waited patiently for my friends to arrive. Once they did, we complained and whined for twenty minutes talked and joked a little but then it was time to get down to business.

How does one start running? Do you start walking then move your way up to a run? Do you just skip start and then run? Do you do that weird trip/fall/run thing? I had no clue. I opted for the walking and moving my legs faster until I was running approach and so did my friends. All runners will tell you that for a nice, comfortable, pace you need to be able to say a complete sentence without being too much out of breath. Well with this FBG any sort of walking fast or jogging will put me out of breath and unable to speak coherently. Usually it's filled with a bunch of cuss words strung together to make a sentence only sailors can understand. Eventually I got into a pace that was easy enough for me to keep and hard enough to feel the energy being used. It felt pretty good to get out there running. I was on fire! I wanted to keep going! I was ready to take on anything!

.10 miles later I was huffing and puffing, dragging my feet, and barely able to lift my arms. I cursed the heavens and I am pretty sure I was stuck in a level of hell attained by only those who are are Reese's Peanut Butter loving sinners. (Yes, I am hoping that you didn't notice the little point before the 10 so you're thinking "OMG you ran ten miles? That's GREAT." Yeah, I did that on purpose.) I did run a total of at least half a mile. Pretty good for someone who has to heft around 240 lbs.

I am a little sore, a little tired, and to top it all off...I'm doing it again tomorrow!

From failure to winner!

Welp...I just don't know how to say this but I failed.

Perhaps I started off too aggressive? Maybe it was the lack of support from my friends? Maybe it was just because I wasn't ready? In any case, I didn't even make it three weeks into my workout schedule. Life got in the way and eventually the need to sleep won out.

I admit it. I failed myself. I gave up. I didn't have the will power or the strength to continue. My brain was fucked into believing that I wasn't meant to exercise. All of the excuses I could think of I used to talk myself out of waking up and working out.

"Wake up Puella!" I finally screamed at myself. I was going on a cruise. 8 days and 7 nights sailing away to the Bahamas on the Fun Ship Carnival Freedom. We'd been planning it for two years. I couldn't wait. About a month before we had to go I realized that I didn't have a single outfit that I could wear in the Bahamas without sweating my ass off. I only wear pants and tee shirts here in the temperate NC so I had to go shopping.

I always told myself that once I was too fat to buy clothes at Walmart I would do something about it. Well, that time had come and gone without my noticing! Walmart has apparently stopped stocking clothing in my town that is over size 18. The clothes I wear now are 18 so I tried on practically everything and it was all too small for my enormous frame.

I was mortified because I was shopping with a friend who is much smaller than me and can find clothes easily. I was close to tears because I couldn't find any clothes to fit me. Eventually I settled on a couple pairs of shorts from the fatty section at Goodwill and some XXL shirts from Walmart. Now the cruise has a formal night that you can dress up and be pretty for a night. I do own one very formal, very pretty dress that I have worn only once before. I thought I would bring that on the cruise. I tried it on and immediately burst into tears when I couldn't get the clasps closed in the back.

I vowed that once I got back from the cruise I would start again. I knew I couldn't do it alone. I knew that I needed the support of my family and my friends. I found my inspiration in an old friend that I haven't spoken to in years. Next month is the anniversary of my shipmate's death. He died when his helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan with 30 other special forces guys. Jon "JT" Tumilson, U.S. Navy SEAL changed my mind.

3minutesout.org

We served together for two years on board the USS Port Royal. A ship like ours, with a crew like ours we became fast friends. I could talk to him about nearly everything and he would listen. Whenever I came to him with a problem, he would always tell me that I was "just making excuses" and to "get off your ass and do something about it, go crush it."

So that's what I'm doing. I'm crushing my excuses and now I am ready. I have signed myself up for not one but TWO 5Ks in the next three months. One of them benefiting JT and his brothers at Joggin' for Frogmen at the end of this month and the other a local 5K that I have managed to talk some of my friends into training with me.

If you have a moment, please consider donating to my fundraiser site for JT for the first 5K. It is appreciated and you are helping the families of these fallen heroes. Click HERE to donate or copy this address into your browser www.active.com/donate/jogginforfrogmen5k/gocrush-it