And the After

Today was the day. It was race day.

I promised to post the before and after picture on the day of the race. (If you don't remember here is the post.) Tonight was the first annual Night of the Ghouls 5K that my friends and I had been training for. I've sat back and watched as each one of them has given up or quit because it was too hard. I don't blame them at all. If it wasn't for the support and encouragement I received from friends and family I would've quit too. It is hard to change your entire life, your way of living. I know, I've done it. Without a support system everyone is bound to fail.

I keep getting messages that I am the inspiration for someone to get off the couch. While I love hearing those sorts of things I can't be your only reason for doing it. You need to make that decision for yourself and for your life. Working out, losing weight, being a completely different you, this is a change that in order to stick you have to be motivated by reasons much deeper than you see me doing it. For months now I've been sweating and beating myself into the ground for this one race, when in actuality, I've changed my entire life. Not necessarily for this one race but for all the races I'll ever run, because I want to see my kids graduate college and have babies of their own and see those kids graduate college. I want to live as long as I possibly can and I simply cannot do that if I can't even tie my own shoes without being short of breath.

Not everyone has quit because it was too hard. One of my friends, that I was so very proud of for even trying, had to pull out because of an injury just two days ago. (She happened to be in my head as my first competitor. I looked at her as if that skinny bottom girl could do it then I had to beat her as a fat bottom girl right? Does that mean I win by forfeit?) I'm disappointed she made the decision not to race but it is for her own health and well being that she did.

As for The Punisher? (Because you all keep asking me about him!) He began a training program to run in a Thanksgiving day half marathon! He knew, after a little while, that this 5K was going to be too easy for him. Unfortunately, his body had other plans and forced him to pull out of that a couple weeks ago. So this 5K was now a recovery race for him. He finished the race in 23:03 a personal best for him and taking 6th place over all and 1st place in his age group of 30-39. I couldn't be more proud of him.

For me, it was the culmination of all that I've worked for. I finished the race in my best time for that track yet 52:43 Only 43 seconds longer than my last time. Not my best time ever unfortunately. I ran 7 miles two days ago and jacked up my knee a little so by the end of this race I was hobbling my way through the finish line. I do not plan to ever stop running but I do believe that competitive racing is out of the question for now. I'm a slow runner and I simply can't keep up with all these young athletes. That's not me giving up, that's me admitting when I have reached my limit. I love to run and a 17 minute mile run is still a mile ran. So competitively I am out of the race, but running just to say I did it, I'm totally there. Next up is a couple more 5K's and ultimately a 10K.

So here it is, the before and after stats and pictures. (Sorry the pics are so blurry, I'll do better ones next time.)

Before (June 25th, 2013):                                 After (October 19th, 2013):

Weight: 242 lbs                                                 Weight: 217 lbs
Chest: 56 in                                                       Chest: 42 in
Hips: 54 in                                                         Hips: 43 in
Waist: 54 in                                                       Waist: 49 in
BMI: 44.3                                                          BMI: 39.7

Before

After

While you may not notice a difference in the pictures. I have definitely noticed a difference in my life. I'm not out of breath when I get out of my car and come in the house. I can tie my shoes by simply bending over. I can run a total of 7 miles now without stopping when three months ago I couldn't even do 100 yards. (The thought of 7 miles back then would've killed me.) I can also walk from one end of a parking lot to another without being winded.





What I'm saying is, yes, you can do this. Anyone can do this. It doesn't matter how big, small, short, or tall you are. Weight loss is something that CAN be achieved as long as you stick with it, and trust me, you don't need some magic pill to get there. Keep yourself from being discouraged by finding yourself a weight loss buddy. If you can't find one, email me here. I'll be happy to keep you accountable and send you encouragement!

My First Official Death Race...aka the 5K

Well, I finished my very first official USATF (United States of America Track and Field) 5K and lived to tell about it.

I didn't have a time in mind to finish, I just wanted to say I did it and I didn't want to be dead last. Surprisingly, I accomplished both, so I'm pretty full of myself happy with the results. So happy, in fact, that I am doing it again this week. Not the same race of course, I have to wait until next year for that, but a night one held on the university campus.

My day started early, and by early I mean that I was awake before the rest of the entire world. Even my dogs looked at me like I was insane as they burrowed themselves back under my blankets. At 0430 everything looks bleak and the race didn't even start until 9! I contemplated just not going or going but just walking or not going and running later that night. Alas, I remembered that I was taking my six year old with me (we'll call her Bad Ass Baby Girl, BABG) and she would've been very disappointed not to see her buddy who was going to be there. So I got out of bed and took a shower. Yes, I know taking a shower before a run sounds a bit on the retarded side but hear me out, I only did it to wake myself up for the two hour drive to the race.

 BABG and I arrived just before 0730 when race registration started. A friend of mine had warned me about the pre-race potty emergencies that can happen so I headed straight to the restroom before I did anything else. Once we were registered we had a while before the race started so we made friends with a few volunteers for a while and then headed down to the starting line to stretch out and check out the competition.
 

I was feeling fine. As you may know I despise morning runs just about as much as I despise frogs, which we'll talk about that in a later post. (If you don't know about my morning run hatred you can read about it here.) But, I was feeling good. I was pumped, warmed, stretched, and good to go. The route didn't look too bad on the map, it was a full circle instead of an out and back. I was smiling and happy, right up until some old man jogged up next to me and asked if I had seen...The Hill.

"Hill? What hill?" I asked.

"The one that's behind us," he replied with a crooked smile.

I looked over my shoulder and it didn't look that bad. I shrugged and said, "No worries, this fat bottom girl has skills. I can do it."

He left me there in the wake of his laughter as he walked away. My confident smile turned to a cringe when I realized that he was laughing at me, instead of with me.

The race whistle started and we were off. BABG took off like a bullet and raced ahead of me. I just knew I wouldn't see her again until the finish line. The race started off with a gentle incline for about a tenth of a mile, no biggie, easy day. I was yet to learn how wrong I was. There was a long downhill after that where I picked up my pace and passed the walkers. It never occurred to me that I would have to gain that elevation drop back somehow. Then there was a nice and easy flat spot all the way to the end of mile one.

At the beginning of mile 2 there is a hill, not too bad, but a little steeper than I was used to. When I got to the top I figured that was it. That is until I looked up and saw it. There, just around the corner, was the biggest, steepest, hill I'd ever seen. It was a monster, it was eating up runners and speed walkers alike. The experienced runners were just getting to the top as I rounded the corner and they were...walking? Dear God the runners were walking the hill!!

I knew I was in for it. "Why did no one tell me?" I cried in confusion. I put my head down and focused on the concrete below my feet. I pushed and pushed and pushed until I couldn't take it anymore. My heart and brain hadn't given up just yet, but my legs were jello. Suddenly, I heard a small voice behind me calling my name and I realized it was BABG, she was walking it and barely faster than a crawl. I took her hand and we pushed up the rest of it together, at a walk. This beast of a hill is nearly a mile long and it feeds on the blood and sweat of inexperienced runners like myself.

Once we reached the top, the volunteers gave us water and made sure we were okay. Luckily, the rest of the way was downhill and just a little tiny hill at the end to get back to the finish line. BABG took off ahead of me again once I mentioned there was ice cream at the end. She finished at 57 minutes flat while I dragged ass behind her at 58:15.

I fucking finished it, goal one complete. Out of 158 competitive runners, I was 153, I wasn't dead last, goal two complete. My reward? Olive Garden with my buddy!!

What now, you ask? Now, I get to work on my time and figure out a way to demolish that hill next year.

The Longest Run

Four weeks ago, The Punisher took me on my first run. The road was flat, the temperature was perfect, and I was ready. Then...I was heaving, sucking air like a banshee, and barely able to lift my feet off the ground.

I didn't even make it 100 yards. He pushed and pushed but I could only make a run for a few yards at a time and we only did a mile in total. I was disappointed in myself, I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide forever. Problem was...there isn't a rock big enough for this FBG.

After a couple weeks of sporadic mile long run/walks at home I did a run that was a killer up hill battle and I injured my knee. I couldn't run anymore. I wanted to but I just couldn't. I have slowly been in recovery since then. But a couple days ago I was able to do an actual run with The Punisher again. It was a little less than a mile and the very same killer hill.

I did it.

Finally.

It sucked.

Mostly.



I was so proud of myself for finishing it because I did the whole thing without stopping and only had to walk halfway up the killer hill, the rest was a run at a 17 minute pace. Not bad for a fat girl huh?

Today I planned a longer run. I wanted to see if I could go farther than I ever have before and I wanted to work on my pace. I brought a friend with me this time who had never run before, I was about to get the challenge I needed to push myself. I just had to beat her, no matter how fast (or slow) she went, I had to be faster and get there first. It was my own little personal challenge.

I got to prove my stuff to her that after only two weeks of running I could do this. To show her that it was never easy but look what I can do now and you can too with just a little dedication. (Of course, my super duper flying shoes helped too!) It was nice knowing that a girl who is nearly two times smaller than me is definitely not as fit as I am after only a month of exercise. Imagine the possibilities!

1.66 miles later, heaving and sucking air like a banshee, I made it. I had to walk a couple times with my friend. I also did not make it up the new killer hill at the end of my run but I did try, next time I will defeat it. My friend was ready to kill me for pushing her so far and so hard. (I'd be willing to bet she challenged herself to beat me. Which is fine, except I wouldn't have let it happen.)

Depression and New Shoes

There is a depression that comes when you are not able to workout like you have been for the last three weeks. It takes over your entire life like a virus that you cannot seem to get rid of. It attaches to your soul and tells you horrible things like, "I knew you weren't good enough" and "see? I told you. You are just too fat. You should give up all together."

This depression virus latched onto me and nearly had me talked in to giving up...again. But this time I had something on my side that everyone should have. A superhero, in my mind, that infused me with positivity and hope. Let's just say that The Punisher doesn't always punish. Sometimes he is kind, gentle, rewarding, and he can give you that one extra little push to get out there and just keep doing what you do.

So I did. I got out there and kept lifting, kept working, kept sweating. Eventually after a week of not using my knees for anything but walking from one place to another, I was able to get up on the elliptical with no pain for thirty minutes. I did that for a few days twice a day. Then today I was able to do an hour with no pain. I can walk with no pain too. I even did a tester jogging lap around the gym this morning and it twinged a little bit so I stopped but I know that one day very soon I will get back to running.

In order to prepare myself for that one day. I had to go buy a new pair of shoes for the occasion. Remember docs orders to buy new shoes? I totally did that this weekend and what a relief! I enjoyed every second of the 3 hour trip to the running store and back. (If you live in the Asheville area I totally recommend Jus' Running. The people there are experts at running and shoes, ask them anything and I bet they have an answer! Plus they can deal with my smart ass and my smart ass friends and that's the way to get my business.)

The cool sticker I got for Punisher

When I walked in the running store (that deals specifically with shoes and running) I knew exactly what was going to happen.

"Hello. How can I help you?" the owner asked me.

"Oh, I am in need of a pair of good running shoes. Do you guys carry those?"

The look on his face was priceless. He knew he was in for a long two hours with my friends and I. He just shook his head and showed us to the shoes. He knew exactly what I needed within seconds of watching me walk a few steps and got me the perfect shoe.

What can a new pair of shoes do for you?

They can brighten your spirit and make you feel like your flying. They give you a chance to show just how cool and awesome you really are. They can also show a part of your personality that has been hidden beneath the layers of fat you have built up over the years. The louder in color they are the better runner you are, I swear, I wouldn't make this stuff up!

So here they are in all their depression beating glory. I have a shirt that matches that bright ass yellow on the soles too. I can't wait to get out there and for you to join me!

10 lbs

This morning was a bit of a shocker. I have been completely depressed for the last couple days since seeing my doc about not being able to do any cardio whatsoever. I can't run, I can't walk, I can't even do the elliptical, I've been watching my friends run and play, and I have just been whiny and sad the whole time. (I know, an FBG complaining that she isn't allowed to get off her ass? What is this world coming to?)

Finally, last night I'd had enough whining and got off my ass and went to the gym. I am allowed to do upper body strength training so I completely destroyed my abs and my arms. It felt good to kick my own ass and get out there again. I missed the aches and pains of weight lifting and the day after feeling of mild soreness.

Yes, I am still depressed that I can't run or do any cardio but here's the thing, even with all my bitching and whining, I have reached my first goal of LOSING 10 pounds.

I stepped on the ever dreaded scale this morning and there it was. A little arrow that pointed down and a great big 10! I literally screamed in my bathroom, frightening anyone within one hundred yards of my house and waking the kids.

Joggin' for Frogmen 5K

My Bib for the Virtual 5K

Sunday was the Joggin' for Frogmen 5K race. I was representing the great state of North Carolina and Crushin' it for JT.

As a virtual racer the point was to get out and run the 5K whenever you could on that day. Unfortunately, I have injured my knee so I was unable to do the actual running part. (Not that I was looking forward to running a 5K so soon after getting off my ass starting to run).

Due to my injury (too much, too soon) I have to do low impact walking or some other type of easy cardio to keep the pressure off my knee. (We will talk about knees and how to take care of them in another post.)

FBG and The Punisher

I did however, get up early and go workout with my Punisher and used the Elliptical for 30 minutes. Using the Elliptical tends to make me sweat more than if I were to actually run which sometimes makes me feel like I am doing more work but I found that I burn just about the same amount of calories using the machine as I would running.

Thank you to everyone who donated to the cause. Your support will help families of the fallen US Navy SEALs and other Veterans nationwide.

The Punisher and His Punishment

The Punisher did it! He broke down and made the unexpected leap into My Hero-ville. Here is what he had to say about his journey. (Posted with permission.)

"I’ve been dreading it for weeks, but last night I decided to put myself through the 5k test and see how I’d do.  I’ve never ran three consecutive miles without stopping or walking in my life.

The dreadmill was set for no time limit, 4.5 speed, 2% grade, 3.1 mile length.

I was able to do it in 39:03, and then did a 2 minute cooldown at 2.5mph. 

Here’s what to take from this.

·         I was 275lbs not very long ago, and have never been a “runner” in my life.

·         I am living, literally, the couch-to-5k life right now.  Compounded by sitting on my rump in an office all day.  WE ALL ARE living this right now.

Photo Courtesy of The Punisher

·         If I can do this, YOU can do this.  You literally just have to make yourself get out there and do it.

·         Envision what you want, and make it happen.  Just…. do it.

My goal is 175lbs and a six-pack tummy by next Summer. 

My goal is going swimming next Summer at the pool and not being embarrassed to take my shirt off.

My goal is living a very, very long time.  Watching my son and little girls graduate.  Walking my daughters down the aisle at their weddings.  Seeing them have children of their own.  Being as healthy as I can be, for as long as I can be."

So yup, he's totally my hero. Without his motivation and inspiration I know I wouldn't be where I am. I couldn't be more proud (and envious) of him than I am right now. He did a great thing and he should be proud that he accomplished so much in just a few months. Now, I guess it's my turn.

The Before...

You know those before and after pictures you see every where for every thing from weight loss to acne medication? I have come to despise them. It depicts people in the worst times of their lives and, as someone who was picked on all throughout her school age years, I can only imagine the names these poor people were called. They hate themselves and what they look like because someone shitty CEO of some shitty company told them that they aren't pretty enough or skinny enough. And WE believe them.

Of course we do! We want to believe them, we want to be someone totally different from who we are! They promised that if we use their products (not approved by the FDA) we will magically lose weight overnight and finally be skinny enough (results not typical)! Who wouldn't want that?

Well, I've tried nearly everything out there and nothing, literally not a single one of them, has worked. I followed all of the directions to a Tee and would maybe lose a couple pounds here and there. Alas, nothing made me lose weight overnight and I sure as hell didn't make me any prettier.

Don't get me wrong. I am totally comfortable with the person that I am. I am smart, I love animals and my friends and family, I love to tease people and be teased in return, I have a smart mouth that goes along with my quick sense of humor. I have a belief system that has nothing to do with a god and I trust in myself. That doesn't mean I have to like the way I look. Which I don't obviously. So I did it right. I went and talked to my doctor who told me what I need to do. Funny how I already knew what he was going to say.

"FBG you need to stop all of these fad diets, you're making it worse. Just eat right! No more fast food, period. No more soda, quit smoking, eat more salad and less bread, eat less red meat and more greens. Then after you do that, I want you to start exercising. Everyday."

"Everyday?!?"

"Yes. Every. Single. Day. And for the rest of your life," he told me. I was not happy with this decision but I am slowly making these changes.

So if I have to do this for the rest of my life I figured I'd better get started and I did. At least I have The Punisher helping me with the exercise every single day. I haven't had fast food and I quit smoking on June 25th of this year, my birthday. Here is my BEFORE picture taken just last night. I have lost two pounds from my heaviest weight of 242 pounds. The day of the 5K I will post the BEFORE and AFTER picture.

I Made a Friend

Last night was brutal. I made a huge mistake in recruiting a motivator who I will now refer to as "The Punisher." He listens to my whining but doesn't care, he ignores my sailor mouth, and has pushed me farther than I have ever been willing to go by myself. The bastard.

Here is an idea of my 60 minute workout: 3.0 miles on the recumbent bike (just to work up a sweat, a "warm-up" he calls it!) lunges, squats, a wall bounce thing that works your calves and ankles, 1 round of suicides (this gem of enlightenment had never been attempted by one FBG such as myself. Pretty sure I died there on that basketball court and my next of kin was already notified.) We did line hops, first forward and back then side to side, (also a giant pain in my ass amazingly enjoyable.) A short game of basketball was played thereafter which I was able to hide in a corner somewhere because I do not play. I did some curls, (with actual weights mind you!) and finally was able to sneak out before The Punisher was able to find something else for me to do.


After all that and about eight hours of recovery sleep, I decided to take a run this morning. 2.2 miles, uphill both ways (I am the only person on the planet that can find a road that is literally uphill in every direction), but I made a friend. He was a nice little friend, just crossing the road in front of me on one of the gentle inclines of my run. Yellow and black he hid in the grass after he raced across the road trying to beat the oncoming traffic.

I don't know about you, but when I run I generally think about things. Mostly they are things that are funny. Trust me, everything is funny when your legs are on fire and your lungs feel like they have collapsed. Even Marc Parent who authors the Newbie Chronicles on Runner's World thinks 'funny' is funnier when running, especially stupid things. So after meeting my little friend I asked myself, "Why did the turtle cross the road?"

Now, to a normal non-running person this would seem like the beginning of a joke for a small child. I assure you that this is not how my mind works. The answers to that very simple question ranged from the extremely mild "to get to the otherside" type jokes to "because some asshole keeps turning me around and taking me back to where I started!" to even "because the chicken I just slept with is back that way!"

By the end of my little tirade of answers to myself I was cracking up, out of breath, with legs burning like the lava fields in Hawaii. I made it all the way home on that little find, thank you my little friend! Hopefully I will make another friend tonight when I meet up with The Punisher again.