Depression and New Shoes

There is a depression that comes when you are not able to workout like you have been for the last three weeks. It takes over your entire life like a virus that you cannot seem to get rid of. It attaches to your soul and tells you horrible things like, "I knew you weren't good enough" and "see? I told you. You are just too fat. You should give up all together."

This depression virus latched onto me and nearly had me talked in to giving up...again. But this time I had something on my side that everyone should have. A superhero, in my mind, that infused me with positivity and hope. Let's just say that The Punisher doesn't always punish. Sometimes he is kind, gentle, rewarding, and he can give you that one extra little push to get out there and just keep doing what you do.

So I did. I got out there and kept lifting, kept working, kept sweating. Eventually after a week of not using my knees for anything but walking from one place to another, I was able to get up on the elliptical with no pain for thirty minutes. I did that for a few days twice a day. Then today I was able to do an hour with no pain. I can walk with no pain too. I even did a tester jogging lap around the gym this morning and it twinged a little bit so I stopped but I know that one day very soon I will get back to running.

In order to prepare myself for that one day. I had to go buy a new pair of shoes for the occasion. Remember docs orders to buy new shoes? I totally did that this weekend and what a relief! I enjoyed every second of the 3 hour trip to the running store and back. (If you live in the Asheville area I totally recommend Jus' Running. The people there are experts at running and shoes, ask them anything and I bet they have an answer! Plus they can deal with my smart ass and my smart ass friends and that's the way to get my business.)

The cool sticker I got for Punisher

When I walked in the running store (that deals specifically with shoes and running) I knew exactly what was going to happen.

"Hello. How can I help you?" the owner asked me.

"Oh, I am in need of a pair of good running shoes. Do you guys carry those?"

The look on his face was priceless. He knew he was in for a long two hours with my friends and I. He just shook his head and showed us to the shoes. He knew exactly what I needed within seconds of watching me walk a few steps and got me the perfect shoe.

What can a new pair of shoes do for you?

They can brighten your spirit and make you feel like your flying. They give you a chance to show just how cool and awesome you really are. They can also show a part of your personality that has been hidden beneath the layers of fat you have built up over the years. The louder in color they are the better runner you are, I swear, I wouldn't make this stuff up!

So here they are in all their depression beating glory. I have a shirt that matches that bright ass yellow on the soles too. I can't wait to get out there and for you to join me!

These Boots Are Made For Walking...

But my legs were made for running.

Unfortunately my knees totally disagree. As you may have noticed, I have been complaining for the last couple weeks about how painful it is to run on my knees. I went and played tennis the other night and woke up the next morning in such pain that I couldn't walk. I finally broke down and made an appointment with my doc.

This morning was my visit and I found out that while I will live, I will also be in excruciating pain for the next couple weeks. I have damaged (not torn) both of my MCLs (Medial Collateral Ligament.)

It is the ligament that runs from the Femor to the Tibia on the medial (inside) of your knees. It is used to resist forces that would push the knees inward. It can be easily damaged by high impact, bending, or landing on a slightly bent knee.




Treatment includes pain meds, ice, complete and total rest, new shoes (hooray!) that can sustain the pressure points, and more pain meds. Eventually they will heal and I can get back to work. Until then, I will need to watch my diet and continue to do strength training for back, abs, and arms. So that I do not gain any of the weight back that I have already lost.

The moral of this story is...Do not run on an injury no matter how trivial you may think it is. I pushed through the pain because I figured I was just fat and lazy so my joints needed to catch up with my will power. But pain really is the only way your body has to tell you that something is wrong. And something was definitely wrong.

I implore you to go see your doc immediately if pain persists more than a day or two after giving it time to rest. He or she will be able to tell you why you have pain and whether you can continue to move on it or not. My doc informed today me that running on my injury has actually made it worse for me and a longer recovery time.

"What can I do about the pain then doc?" I asked him.

"Don't run away, I'll give you some samples..." he left the room and I almost laughed in his face. I wasn't about to RUN anywhere, let alone away.

I am frustrated. I am angry. I want to run. I want to be pain free. I want to be able to do the things I was doing before but I know that I just can't. If I do, I will cause more harm than good and it is possible that I will ruin it completely and I will never reach my goals.

So, I tell myself that this is merely a set back on my journey as I am sure we have all had or are right now in the middle of. I will recover and I will make it through this. I have learned from my mistake and it's time for me to just relax, take it easy, and eat my bitch mints like candy!